How Do I Stand in the Face of Possibility When...

The World is nowhere near Transformed

I took a huge time-out this past weekend to do something that is close to my heart. The seminar that began my training to become a public speaker back in the 1990’s. I was certified several months before my mother passed away.

I was also in the middle of a heart issue that got resolved by my going to Stanford Medical Library and looking up a new procedure called a catheter ablation. I found a good cardiologist to perform it and laid on the hospital surgery bed for 6 hours. I never thought my neck would recover.

Then I did a funny thing coming out of anesthesia. My girlfriend went to Mrs. Fields Cookies at the time and brought me back a few big chocolate chip cookies. I crumpled them in the hospital bed laughing when I hate crumbs in my bed 😆. She went back to the mall and got some more, brought them back, and I did the same thing. Cindy said she wouldn’t go back to the shop to get me any more cookies if I was going to crumble them again. So, I stopped and ate the cookies before I finally became conscious around 11pm. The surgery started that morning.

I have no idea why I revert to childhood when I’m coming out of anesthesia, but I do. Another time, I called up my coworkers and told them I loved them. That was after I came out of my first hernia surgery. I didn’t live that down for a couple of weeks at work. How embarrassing 😁. And I don’t remember doing anything either. Total blackout and it takes me hours to become conscious even though my eyes are open, I’m talking to people, and even walking.

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But let me tell you what it’s like to become transformed when most people aren’t. People don’t like happy people. I was laughing with someone earlier about how I was when I showed up in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Those people were way too happy for me and I thought they were drinking drug-filled Koo-laid. No way could a room be full of happy folks like that. Well, this seminar is like that. I go out into the world wanting to share that happiness, and folks look at me like I’ve lost my damn mind 🤣.

On the 3^rd day, I went to Subway to get a quick sandwich on the break and went bouncing into the shop. My “Hi” was a bit loud and I was kind of animated, and the woman behind the counter forgot the sandwich I wanted twice. I struck up a little conversation with her, and I could tell she thought I was strange. Thing is, to someone who probably hates their job and the fact they’re working on a Sunday, I DID behave weirdly to her. I made her smile.

After the workday ended, I went to Waffle House and bounced in there. I said, “Hi,” while waving my arms around and my buddy in there returned my welcome just as animated. So, I did it 2 additional times and each time she did the same thing. She told me it’s great when I come into that place because I make them all feel alive.

Because of my work with that business, I’ve had that effect on people for a good 30 years. I’m a regular there and when I haven’t been around for a couple of weeks, the employees complain and ask where I’ve been. I suppose it’s infectious and my outrageous behavior causes them to reciprocate and get a breather from the typical humdrum of their lives. I’m glad I can do that for people. Why not?

I laughed through the entire seminar, as usual, when I review it. I know what’s coming sometimes, or when it does, I know what the reactions will look like and I start giggling. I can’t help it. Human beings are fairly predictable and we all react the same way to things we may not understand at first. Kids fly through that class at least an hour or 2 quicker than adults each night.

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You know the tell-tale sign that people are a little upset with your happiness? When they say, “Good for you,” like it didn’t touch them at all. It’s a patronizing thing to say, but I don’t care. I’m going to spread that love whether people reciprocate or not. I can’t help it. It’s part of an advanced training I did twice in a row there for 7 months each. Once as a participant and again as a coach. Fully self-expressed, I’m outrageous without even trying.

When I talk with people I barely know about this, something is still missing, and I know what it is now. Not enough trust in what I’m about and knowing the stand I’m taking for them when I approach them about it. They probably think I’m bragging about it for myself. No, that’s not it. I wouldn’t be telling them about it if I wanted kudos for myself. I’m not a glory-hog. I don’t need that kind of attention.

One guy said I was making a sales pitch. Well, no. Salespeople get paid commission. I don’t get anything from strangers doing that work on themselves. I don’t get anything from anybody doing that work. I’m not a salesman, and if you ask me, I suck at sales 😆. As accomplished as that guy is, he’s miserable and I know he could use something like that seminar. Other people here, too.

I can’t keep it to myself, no matter how hard I try. It comes up frequently when I’m talking about anything. Why? It has had such a profound impact on me and on everybody I’ve seen go through it. Whether I’m just sitting there listening or getting coached by the leaders. It doesn’t matter. I go in expecting breakthroughs and they deliver. My arms aren’t crossed and I’m usually sitting on the edge of my seat. I’m always paying it forward.

Now, do most people go through life like that? NO! That’s why it’s difficult to walk around in that space and have few partners in the matter. We’re spread out all over the world, and the likelihood of meeting somewhere is few & far between. I do miss the in-person seminars since the pandemic, but the digital format isn’t bad.

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Why haven’t I mentioned the name of this business? Because people are superstitious, critical, resigned, apprehensive, and skeptical. I’d rather have them introduced to it personally than run out and look it up to find evidence that will support the negatives their minds are running with. Besides, those who know me already know what it is. I will say this about that particular seminar.

Human beings have a voice that runs in our heads 24x7. That voice formulates many opinions from many situations, people, places and periods of time. Shit happens and we make up stories about what happened. We spend the rest of our lives thinking the stories we make up are the truth and collapse what actually happened. Those stories make us crazy about situations, people, places, and things. They aren’t the reality of what happened, but we think it is.

Anyway, our leader was hilarious with a segment where she ran in place for a long time, explaining what humans do, chasing what will make them happy. She used a pen like a carrot placed just out of reach in front of her. I laughed so hard, my stomach hurt 🤣. A bunch of other people were laughing like that as well. We run, run, run like that for years before we exhaust ourselves, never achieving the happiness we seek.

Even if we’re not seeking nirvana, we’re chasing something. We’re looking for that person, place, or thing that will make us feel better about moving through life. Or, we’re running away from ourselves, thinking we’ll eventually get somewhere. No, we take ourselves wherever we go!

Wouldn’t it be great if we were taught that life just is and we need to embrace that, in the now, instead of trying to figure out the future based on the past? Hell yeah! Well, that’s what this seminar is all about. It puts the past in the past where it belongs.

I’m so glad that a man at Tandem Computers, Inc. invited me to an introduction back in the 1980’s and I saw it for what it was. Not knowing exactly what would happen, I was drawn to it and ran straight at it way back when. The man who created the entire thing did the introduction and I had no idea who he was or how famous that guy is. I just know that he made me laugh at myself for the first time outside the rooms of AA. I admired the man at my company a lot. He managed to become an executive as a Black man, and I wanted to be around him to figure it out for myself. How to get there. I had another path at that company than to be an executive, but I did reach my level of nirvana working there.

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As for the personal possibilities I’m standing for, I think I’ve written enough around here to make an honest stab at finishing one of my books. The other thing I’m doing is finally working out my chest, which has needed to get buffed since I had top-surgery some years ago. The last thing I’m going for is to improve the relationship I have with my little brother Chris. I reached out during a break and he was receptive. We’re both without parents now and are parents ourselves. I like the idea of a legacy with integrity.

If anything I’ve said here strikes your fancy, and you ask me privately what it is, just know that I will approach the subject asking about you, not about that business. If that bothers you, oh well. That is how I will broach what it is. Skepticism be damned. Peace, love, and SOUL everybody!

KingRay

BTW, I don’t think I’m a King. Ray just happens to mean ‘King’ and that’s why I use it as a nickname. 😁